Let’s face it. Relationships are great but the ending can sometimes be pretty nasty. Suddenly this person who used to be your everything is a stranger. No matter how bad it gets, an ugly breakup shouldn’t make you sad. Here’s how you can start feeling like your old self again.
There’s no kaa ngumu here. You can only get over a bad breakup by getting through it. So cry if you have to. Break things (safely and with consent) if you have to. Splurge on a retail therapy session if you have to. Talk about what you’re feeling with someone if you have to. Whatever it is, allow yourself to grief the end of the relationship.
We know, we know. It’s very tempting to keep checking to see how badly they’re doing without you. Or who’s new in their lives and if they look better than you. However, this won’t help you get over an ugly breakup. You’ll just feel even more depressed when you see happy pics of your ex. To get a fresh start, just block them or mute for as long as you need to.
This includes drunk calling or texting. Yes, you may miss them but you broke up and it’s time to move on. Getting in touch with them will only make you look desperate. Give it at least a month before you initiate any form of contact with them.
You may want to hurt your ex but no matter how it ended, seeking revenge won’t help you move on. Don’t trash talk them, destroy their stuff or post hateful things about them on social media. Just pretend that they no longer exist and go on living. In the words of the great Destiny’s Child, Survivor,’ (I’m better than that) you know I’m not gon’ dis you on the internet, ‘Cause my momma thought me better than that!’
You probably spent a lot of time with your ex, and you now need to find other things to do. You can sign up for a class, exercise, go somewhere new and create new memories alone. This will help you to move on and not dwell on the ugly breakup. Plus you’ll gain a new skill!