We can all agree that Kenyans do some weird things in matatus, kwanza kama kuna jam, aki! Hata tuko sure you’ve met these people:
They are basically talking very loudly on the phone all through the ride. Most of the time their phone is loud enough that you can even hear what the other person is saying. Kama ni muchene, hutataka ata kushuka!
You can’t miss them. Wtacomplain the whole time vile dere anawaste time, na vile angepitia njia ingine. They’ll be sure to mention vile ata hao ni drivers na ati they have mad skills.
This is another loud one. Kwani mtajuaje anamake deals za millions na ni mtu important? Same wozzap na the ‘I know important people’ guy who keeps name dropping.
He treats the shared seat like his personal sofa and just takes up all the space. Ole wako kama umeketi kwa aisle, coz unaweza anguka ata!
They’ll say hi, and when you say it back to be polite, they’ll start telling you their life story. They won’t even care that you have earphones on, utaskiza by force!
You usually meet these one at lunch time when you’re hungry and going far. Watakuwa hapo na chipo na kuku porno yao wakikula ukiangalia tu. Ata usiskie vibaya!
Hawa ni kama wanakujanga na stress zao. They’ll pick fights with the conductor, the driver, other passengers…. They’ll probably end up being thrown out, which was the plan all along sababu hawakuwa na fare.
They’ll be stinking drunk, but watawapigia stori hadi mfike home. Kwanza when that drunk logic hits vizuri, you’ll be laughing the whole way.
Yaani this one will sleep hadi they can’t stay upright. They’ll keep falling, as well as leaning on you. Hawa ata wanaweza pitishwa stage.
Huwajui, lakini you can feel their eyes looking over your shoulder as you type into your phone. In addition, they’ll be busy pretending to be texting as they listen to your conversations.
Featured Image Courtesy: Twitter