The 10 People You’ll Meet In Kenyan Mats This Week


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We can all agree that Kenyans do some weird things in matatus, kwanza kama kuna jam, aki! Hata tuko sure you’ve met these people:

 

#1. The Loud Talker

https://giphy.com/gifs/guavajuice-phone-talking-on-laughing-hrG1c4Nup2ZDCD14k3

They are basically talking very loudly on the phone all through the ride. Most of the time their phone is loud enough that you can even hear what the other person is saying. Kama ni muchene, hutataka ata kushuka!

 

#2. The Better Driver

https://giphy.com/gifs/top-driving-distractions-qQJ1xyQXVuVfW

You can’t miss them. Wtacomplain the whole time vile dere anawaste time, na vile angepitia njia ingine. They’ll be sure to mention vile ata hao ni drivers na ati they have mad skills.

 

#3. The Very Important Person

https://giphy.com/gifs/artist-ola-szmida-l0ErQjAdgv4mnUDF6

This is another loud one. Kwani mtajuaje anamake deals za millions na ni mtu important? Same wozzap na the ‘I know important people’ guy who keeps name dropping.

 

#4. The Man Spreader

https://giphy.com/gifs/legs-cruel-intentions-selma-blair-unNw6Pf4rYwgg

He treats the shared seat like his personal sofa and just takes up all the space. Ole wako kama umeketi kwa aisle, coz unaweza anguka ata!

 

#5. The Over-sharer

https://giphy.com/gifs/JraCnck7597rO

They’ll say hi, and when you say it back to be polite, they’ll start telling you their life story. They won’t even care that you have earphones on, utaskiza by force!

 

#6. The Eater

https://giphy.com/gifs/thebachelorette-the-bachelorette-3o6Zt3KFoI4XUfWmZ2

You usually meet these one at lunch time when you’re hungry and going far. Watakuwa hapo na chipo na kuku porno yao wakikula ukiangalia tu. Ata usiskie vibaya!

 

#7. The Fighter

https://giphy.com/gifs/cute-bear-fighting-tzNyMk9OxjDVu

Hawa ni kama wanakujanga na stress zao. They’ll pick fights with the conductor, the driver, other passengers…. They’ll probably end up being thrown out, which was the plan all along sababu hawakuwa na fare.

 

#8. The Drinker

https://giphy.com/gifs/jJqWEAYkWrxWE

They’ll be stinking drunk, but watawapigia stori hadi mfike home. Kwanza when that drunk logic hits vizuri, you’ll be laughing the whole way.

 

#9. The Sleeper

https://giphy.com/gifs/funny-awkward-sleeping-Q1vQmrjmbjaWQ

Yaani this one will sleep hadi they can’t stay upright. They’ll keep falling, as well as leaning on you. Hawa ata wanaweza pitishwa stage.

 

#10. The Eavesdropper

Huwajui, lakini you can feel their eyes looking over your shoulder as you type into your phone. In addition, they’ll be busy pretending to be texting as they listen to your conversations. 

 

Featured Image Courtesy: Twitter

 

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