When people think of abusive relationships, it’s mostly with violence in mind. This means that many people stay in toxic relationships just because their partner has never raised a hand to hit them or anything like that. However, emotionally abusive relationships do exist and they are pretty hard to spot sometimes. This is because such toxic relationships look perfect from the outside and you may feel like you’re overreacting to small things. If you’re not sure whether you’re in an abusive relationship or not, get out immediately you start seeing any of these red flags.
The dictionary defines gaslighting as ‘manipulating someone into questioning their own sanity’. This can happen in several ways, such as your abuser saying or do something and then denying it later. In addition, they may pretend not to understand something important to you so that you’re always doubting yourself around them.
This is a major red flag in toxic relationships. You may find yourself in a relationship where your partner is always calling and showing up randomly, or trying to find out where you are and who you’re with. This may seem cute at first but it’s just a way for the abuser to keep tabs on you and control your every action.
With this abuser, you’ll hear the phrase ‘if you loved me, you would/wouldn’t do…’ a lot. They’ll want you to feel bad over the smallest things, so that you have to always have to seek their approval in everything. It is also a way to make sure that you’re always trying to make them happy, even when it makes you unhappy.
You may have probably talked about your boundaries but your abusive partner will constantly keep trying to push your limits in toxic relationships. They will ask you to do something that you don’t want to because they enjoy seeing how uncomfortably it makes you. It is also another way for them to have control over you and they will become very angry and dismissive if you don’t do what they want.
Abusers in toxic relationships are very good at making you feel like you are on top of the world as long as it favors them. However, they’ll usually say something nice about you first and then connect it with one of your insecurities. This way you’ll feel good but also unsure about yourself, which is exactly how they want you to be around them.
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